Time to Grow Up and Be a Proper Bank

Wishy-washy metropolitan elites have been pestering the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK and her flunkey Nick Hurd, the Minister for Being the Son of a Former Minister, over the likely sell-off of the Green Investment Bank to an Australian asset-stripper. It remains as yet unclear whether the dead-eyed warden is in favour of the sale primarily because of instructions from Rupert Murdoch or because of her own refined personal preferences. Even Vince Cable, who was happy to stiff the taxpayer for a goodly sum when flogging off the Post Office, apparently has qualms about the theft and demolition of public assets now that he is out of government. The bank was set up under the Conservative government of 2010-15, in which Cable was the nominal business secretary; but among the first decisions of the Bullingdon Club government of 2015-16 was the cleansing of even the most token whiff of green crap. Besides, the architect of the Osbornomic miracle thought that the money might well come in handy for helping to pay down the deficit incurred by the first five years of the Osbornomic miracle, provided that nobody in the City needed a bit of a pick-me-up. In response to cross-party concerns about the sale, the Minister for Being the Son of a Former Minister said that the bank would be able to accomplish much bigger things when freed from the suffocating hand of the state. Indeed, one need only look at the Arctic, the Niger delta and the Gulf of Mexico to see just how big the results of unrestrained private enterprise can be.