This is Not a Crisis, But We Have a Cunning Plan Anyway

There is no crisis in the NHS. The dead-eyed warden herself has decreed it; and she is the one who told us that filthy migrants were avoiding deportation because they had cats. If any other plausibility enhancement solution were needed, the dead-eyed warden is also the one who prefers appeasing the Farage Falange to letting mere expert opinion pollute the patriotic purity of her inactions.

Additionally, the minister for profitable prole-training has overruled the Red Cross on the definition of a humanitarian crisis, on the grounds that she saw much worse when she was toddling about the globe funnelling humanitarian aid to her corporate masters. She also asserted that the need for the Red Cross to help provide public health services in the world's sixth-richest country is nothing particularly unusual. Whether or not it is anything particularly disgraceful was not a question the minister chose to explore, because a Five-Year Plan is in hand to blame everything on local authorities, so obviously Everything's All Right.