A Few Hedgehogs Short of a Motorway

With all that's going on and standing still in the country's transport system, beleaguered travellers will rejoice to see that the brilliant Chris Graybeing has been having a bit of a philosophical interlude. During the recent trouble on the trains, the brilliant Graybeing responded by trotting out the arcane distinction between honest British taxpayers and mere users of public transport, who apparently have similar tax arrangements to certain members of the Conservative Party. Only yesterday the brilliant Graybeing approved a road tunnel through one of the country's oldest and richest archaeological sites; and today the brilliant Graybeing has denied that cyclists use roads. Presumably this minority religious belief explains the brilliant Graybeing's recent clobbering of a heretically-placed cyclist with the door of his car. Despite his hit-and-run attitude to the various political briefs which successive prime ministers have inexplicably given him to play with, the brilliant Graybeing did apparently acknowledge the cyclist's existence although, as a genuine road user, he did not feel obliged to give his details to the fleshly outrage against Nature, morality and the Highway Code. Meanwhile, the Government has pledged to double cycling levels, but it seems likely that this commitment will go the same way as the green crap and the harmless little jokes about protecting the NHS and safeguarding our interests in the European single market. The Government is spending less than £1 per person on the issue, because the brilliant Graybeing can count up to less than one; but doubling would require him to count up to two, and possibly even higher.