Tight Ships, Steady Hands

The dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK has been forced to slap down the Imperial Haystack, who had a bit of a blather about Saudi Arabia and how some Bad Things are going on because politicians twist and abuse thingummies to achieve their own whatsits, quite unlike such courageous and far-sighted statesmen as (to throw out a random example) Sir Winston Leonard Spencer de Pfeffel Johnson. Since flogging weapons to fundamentalist head-choppers in support of the continuing massacre in Yemen is one of Britain's few remaining industries, Tin-Pot Tessie quickly extruded a spokesbeing to proclaim that, however fatuous they may be, the blatherings of the Imperial Haystack are not absolutely in harmony with current levels of delusion in the Downing Street bunker. Tin-Pot Tessie has had a bit of a chat to the Saudi king, emphasising the need for the Saudis to investigate Saudi conduct of the war in order to avoid the UN poking its nose in; and doubtless the two of them discovered much ideological common ground on the question of the royal prerogative. The Imperial Haystack is supposed to visit Saudi Arabia at the weekend, although it remains as yet unclear whether he will be doing so in the capacity of a fact-proof journalist or a game-show host.