Season of Goodwill

Transfers of unaccompanied Calais cockroach larvae have been stopped, apparently on the grounds that they had started, which would never do. According to the minister for wog disposal, Robert Winterval, more than seven hundred and fifty juvenile perils to our way of life have already been interrogated and placed with family members, or else are being used by local authorities as an excuse to avoid emptying the bins. Nevertheless, one charity estimates that a swarm several hundred strong still remains in France, equipped by enemies of the people with so-called legal rights including the right of pushing the UK past its breaking point. Once they reach the age of majority and the boys have started to get a bit beardy, of course, we can always kick them out again; but it remains unclear whether such safeguards will be enough to reassure the delicate snowflakes now claiming to represent the white working class.