Clusterfallon

On slightly better evidence than the Reverend Blair used to drag us into his Iraq crusade, Her Majesty's Government has been accused of war crimes in Yemen. Unlike Saddam's weapons of mass ethereality, the British-made cluster bombs are equipped with actual existence, and their sale and use is unequivocally against the letter of a 2010 treaty to which the UK is a signatory. Although living up to our international obligations is frightfully old hat these days, there appears to be some vague concern at the Ministry for Wog-Bombing that our customers in the head-chopping House of Saud do not quite know their place.

The empty suit at the Treasury, who at the time was an empty suit at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, pledged last spring that the Saudis would be asked very nicely indeed to confirm that nothing untoward was going on; and since Her Majesty's Government demands nothing better of its ministers, its police forces or those efficient people at G4S, that should clearly have been the end of the matter. The Saudis claim that the cluster bombs are relics of the good old days when the British weapons industry was less impeded by red tape; but the blustering blimp at the Ministry for Wog-Bombing has apparently seen an official report indicating that the cluster bombs in question were in fact deployed during the present paroxysm of civilisational enhancement. Doubtless the blustering blimp is as deeply concerned as one would expect; unfortunately, he has had very little time to deal with the problem owing to his busy schedule of posturing the country into war with Russia.

Update Her Majesty's Government's head-chopping chums have now admitted using cluster bombs in the present war, but only for purposes of which Her Majesty's Government can in conscience approve, viz. the defence of civilised values against Iranian-backed terrorists and the minimisation of non-acceptable civilian casualties.