An Example to Us All
Citizens of somewhere other than nowhere will be reassured, if they know what's good for them, by the latest riveting developments in the ongoing saga of Britain's most hard-working family. The Queen Gawblesser, who recently responded to the award of a £2.8-million pay rise by deciding to do less work, had been importuned by a common cold and had therefore not taken the train to Sandringham, to the consternation of millions. Nevertheless, despite the state of her health, the Queen Gawblesser has been able to host a lunch for dozens of relatives at Buckingham Palace; the steadfastness of her fortitude will doubtless serve as a salutary example to the generations of proles being waited upon in their fur-lined food banks. With the foresight and prudence which characterises the deserving striver, the Queen Gawblesser has evidently made proper arrangements for her own medical care, rather than blocking beds on the NHS; so now the Queen Gawblesser has been flown to Sandringham, and the Christmas Day platitudes have been recorded in advance, and everything's all right.