Small Change

The Ministry for G4S and Wog Warehousing has beaten a huffy retreat on plans to quintuple the fines levied on immigrants and asylum seekers for having the temerity to request access to British justice. Like everything else in the hated public sector, the courts are now considered purely a potential source of revenue, and the migrant-milking measures would have raised up to thirty-four million a year, or enough to plug a whopping one-thousand-seven-hundredth of the Brexit black hole. Accordingly, the Ministry is still determined to sneak ahead with its reform (vandalism, in Standard English) of the judicial industry; as a spokesbeing proclaimed, "the cost of our courts and tribunals on the taxpayer is unsustainably high." The relationship of this unsustainability to the Government's own enthusiasm for low wages and smoochy affection for tax-dodgers, and consequent commitment to ever-lower tax receipts, remains as yet tantalisingly unclear.