Expanding Their Skill Set

Given her obsessive concern with wog reduction, the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK takes a remarkably lackadaisical attitude towards immigration control. Rather than kicking the border police into shape after inheriting the usual excuse from Labour, Tin-Pot Tessie has favoured the Michael Gove policy of handing matters over to untrained amateurs; and it all seems to be going about as well as one might expect. Private landlords are afraid to rent properties to legitimate wogs in case they turn out to be illegal wogs; in which case the landlord may face fines of up to £3000 and, from next month, a period of rent-free accommodation at one of Bessie Battenberg's hard-drugs-and-no-toothpaste pleasure-houses. Some landlords are even turning away those British citizens who lack a passport to prove their pedigree, even though many of the white working class are undoubtedly putting off obtaining a passport until the Euro-wog maroon is forever expunged from the cover. A whopping thirteen per cent of landlords have found the relevant Home Office advice line helpful, so it seems likely that twelve per cent or more have misunderstood it.