Constitutionally Illiterate

Greasy foreign values such as the rule of law and the political independence of the judiciary have come under predictable attack from our free, courageous and cantankerous press. Anti-establishment populists working for such warriors of progress as the Barclay bullies and the very 'umble Murdoch have been squealing from the front pages about the betrayal of Brexit by a bunch of foreigner-pandering metropolitan élitists. The shadow justice secretary has called upon the lord chancellor to defend the judiciary; but it is unlikely that the Government will be in much of a hurry to unfurl any umbrellas against the foaming tide. The lord chancellor happens to be the ridiculous Liz Truss, who has about as much legal knowledge and experience as one would expect. Truss also just happens to be Mad Tessie's very own little justice secretary, and is thus obliged for sundry weighty reasons (viz. her political career and whatever financial kickbacks may come of it) to connive at whatever deranged illegalities the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK may be plotting. One or two mere experts raised concerns about a potential conflict of interests at the time of Truss's appointment, but were promptly howled down as misogynistic reactionaries.

After the judges' subversive decision that the law of the land and the rights of its people are not exclusively Mad Tessie's business to change or bestow, the strutting Caudillo emeritus of the Farage Falange was quick to threaten rivers of blood; fifth-column citizens of nowhere such as the present chair of the Bar Council and a former director of public prosecutions were both quick to slap down the "idea that judges would be better employed kowtowing to the executive" as "shameful heresy from political pygmies". A former attorney general, and even a Liberal Democrat who has no little red box to keep him occupied, have also expressed a certain discomfort at the levels of scumbag press hysteria; fortunately, however, an orificial spokesbeing for Downing Street does not believe the British judiciary is being undermined, and evidently considered any comment on newspaper coverage to be an act of lèse-Rupert.