And the Rocks Were Rent

An Italian priest has blamed the recent earthquakes on God; not merely for squatting on His heavenly throne and doing nothing to prevent the hundreds of deaths and thousands of destitutions, but for actively engineering the disasters as a punishment for civil unions between gay people. Italy introduced the relevant legislation only last month, and post hoc ergo propter hoc is about as sophisticated as Christian reasoning has ever been. The Vatican was moved to condemn the priest's views in the strongest terms, stating that the idea of a vengeful God was a "pagan vision" dating from the "pre-Christian era" which was responsible for the production of the vile, un-Biblical, Semitic documents known as the Old Testament. These pagan ravings were, of course, enthusiastically endorsed by the Saviour on numerous occasions; particularly when calling down the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah, or worse, on those who would not or could not endorse the Saviour's own eminently sane disquisitions.