Exporting Democracy

Further subtleties of the Government's grand economic plan have emerged with the announcement that the democratic rights of British migrants living abroad are to be prioritised over those of foreign workers living in Britain. Migrants who leave Britain to be a drain on rival economies will be rewarded with a vote for life so that they can participate in British democracy for more than the currently granted fifteen years. Expats, according to the minister for constitutional chaos, Chris Skidmark, "retain strong links with the United Kingdom: they may have family here, and indeed they may plan to return here in the future." These virtues are what distinguish expats from mere immigrants, who may retain strong links with the country of their birth, may have family there and indeed may plan to return there in the future even if not forcibly removed. According to Skidmark, expats will also have "an important role to play in helping Britain to expand international trade". What are a few thousand jobs with Nissan when you can sell authentic British marmalade to life-long British voters?