Barnstorming, Buccaneering Border Control

In a reassuring sign of hitherto latent continuity and coherence, the Government is applying its Brexit policy to the problem of wog disposal. Much as the late Head Boy did even less to prepare for Brexit than he did to win the referendum, and much as the David Davis publicist David Davis has resolved to see off economic meltdown by being confident it won't happen, the Ministry for Lock 'em Up and Kick 'em Out has spent the past six months disbelieving that the Calais concentration camp is going to be demolished, thereby avoiding the expense and inconvenience of making any preparations. Now that the perfidious French have decided, on some malicious Gallic whim, to do as they've always said they would do, the race-baiting Clegg-pledger Amber Rudd and her minions are all of a tizzy. Although the Government has stipulated that only woglings with family connections in Britain can be accommodated, in most cases the necessary background checks have not been made, owing to civil service red tape which has been drawing up advisory documents on the subject for the past thirteen months. Of course, Britain always muddles through, and besides the cultural advantages of our bold, free and cantankerous Press we've still got good old child detention to fall back on.