By Their Fruits
A Christian gay-baiter who preaches that natural disasters are God's punishment for homosexuality has received his reward from the Almighty. A deluge of "near Biblical proportions" has swept away the Louisiana home of Tony Perkins; which home, given that the Biblical flood drowned everything in the world except for a single human family and a boatful of livestock, must have been quite the humble hovel. Besides favouring the world with his meteorological expertise Preacher Perkins, as president of the amusingly-named Family Research Council, has proclaimed that paedophilia is "a homosexual problem" and that homosexuality is a condition similar to drug addiction. Preacher Perkins and his family escaped the flood in a canoe and are now living off "God's provisions": locusts and wild honey à la Ronald Macdonald, one assumes. The condition of Preacher Perkins' closet remains as yet undisclosed.