When I Became a Minister, I Put Away Backbenchly Things

In what will doubtless be the first of many assaults on our new-found sovereignty, some interfering Euro-wogs have proclaimed that snooping on people who probably haven't done anything wrong is illegal, even when the snoopery is carried out on behalf of Her Majesty's Government and on the whim of Mad Tessie May. The verdict is the result of a legal case brought in part by the assiduous David Davis publicist David Davis, who has been known to posture noisily now and again as a champion of civil liberties. Unfortunately for British values, now that the newly-crowned snooper-in-chief has given David Davis his own little ministry with which to induce the Euro-wogs to give us all the privileges of club membership in return for none of the obligations, David Davis has discovered himself to be in substantial disagreement with David Davis, and has slunk away from the whole affair with his detumescent principles dangling between his legs. It is as yet unclear whether David Davis made his choice before or after he learned that he was going to be thrust into a house-share with Adam Werritty and the Imperial Haystack.