Securing Your Country

Well, that was democratic, wasn't it? Britain's Head Boy's dictum that Brits don't quit having been proven false by Andrea Leadsom, Michael Gove, the London Haystack, the creepy Christian, Adam Werritty's little man and, with unseemly haste, the Head Boy himself, the election of our latest prime minister has been a matter for the grey suits and purple jowls of the 1922 Committee. Whether thick-headed and fanatical or treacherous and opportunistic, every single politician who campaigned to leave the EU has chickened out of taking any responsibility for the process, along with the simpering appeaser who called the referendum in the first place. All Mad Tessie May has had to do is sit around exuding her usual cold-porridge charisma while waiting for the others to drop. As a result, the well-fed smirks and glistening dewlaps of the Bullingdon Club will now be replaced with the dead-eyed sanctimony and dodgy rumour-control of a profit-oriented prison warder; and whatever is left of the country by 2020 will most likely be a rather substandard division of G4S, that famously efficient and law-abiding company with which Mad Tessie May has almost no marital affiliation whatever.