Keeping Things Civilised

Britain's brother in values, the Kingdom of Bahrain, has been accused of failing to investigate claims that opponents of the government are being subjected to torture, which in at least one case has resulted in a confession that led to a death sentence. Concerns have been raised by the US civil rights organisation Americans for Democracy and Human Rights, as well as by Amnesty International and the United Nations - which, since the accused is neither Russia nor Iran nor North Korea, Britain's leading liberal newspaper collectively dismisses as "campaign groups". ADHR filed a statement in 2014 to the effect that one dissident was tortured for four days before confessing to taking part in a bombing that killed a policeman. The statement was apparently overlooked by the relevant ombudsman because it was filed via email rather than via the appropriate complaint form; and this despite the fact that the Kingdom of Bahrain is constructing a new Royal Navy base and that the relevant ombudsman is funded by the British taxpayer via the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns. Fortunately, the Ministry has extruded a flunkey called Toby to proclaim that everything's all shipshape now; and the ombudsman, with all due independence, concurs.