Fair Play to Johnny Arab

Following the recent discovery by the Ministry of Wogs, Frogs and Huns that it had been saying the thing that was not even less undetectably than usual, certain un-British and anti-entrepreneurial elements are prevailing upon the Imperial Haystack to discriminate against Her Majesty's Government's brothers in Britishness, the House of Saud. In everything from the wealth and democratic accountability of its élite, through its robust attitude towards its more problematic citizens, to the cleanliness of its public life and the efficacy of its wog-bombing, Saudi Arabia is the very embodiment of the dampest, stickiest dreams in both the Labour and Conservative factions of the British Neoliberal Party. Hence it seems unconscionably unconstructive and pessimistic to assume that the House of Saud does not take all due care when using the weaponry sold to it under British export licenses; especially since, as everyone knows, such weaponry is always clearly marked Not to be used for nefarious purposes unless expediency requires. Nevertheless, various ignorant and backsliding persons have called for an independent investigation into the Saudis' conduct of their rampage in Yemen, even though Her Majesty's Government has already conceded that the Saudis should be compelled to rise to the standards of the British press, police and parliament, and investigate themselves.