Police as Business

The Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club has paid unctuous tribute to the "brave and innovative operations" carried out by the Special Demonstration Squad: not, as might be supposed, the Kettlers in Kevlar, but a sneaks-and-spooks unit initially set up in 1968 to spy on leftists. Undercover officers concealed evidence in court cases (operational discretion), spied on the relatives of Stephen Lawrence (race relations) and utilised long-term sexual relationships as part of their cover (family values). They also engaged in identity theft, hiding behind dead children; and, as it now emerges, lied about the value of the information they gathered in order to fleece the taxpayer. It all sounds rather like the entrepreneurial activities of those reliable people at Serco and G4S, with just a naughty hint of Britain's Head Boy and his human shield, Little Ivan™; and so proud is the club manager, Sir Bernard Hogan-Howitzer, now an inquiry has recounted all these brave and innovative doings, that he has been sitting on the report since last year. Doubtless he was waiting for a week during which he couldn't be accused of burying the bad news.