The Curmudgeon


Sunday, June 12, 2016

Leave NATO Now

Fury at shooting horror

The United Kingdom Indpendence Party has called for Americans to be barred from entering the UK and for Britain to leave NATO "before all our perverts get shot".

The announcement was made in response to the latest and greatest modern blessing to be conferred by the Second Amendment to the US Constitution.

"We fully recognise the difference between Americans and Muslims, but for the sake of our country we must be realistic and treat every outsider as a potential homicidal maniac," a spokesbeing for the party said.

"We already know that Turkey, a nation of 76 million rapists, could be let into Britain on a nod and a wink from the unelected Strasbourg bunker in Brussels. Just think what might happen if America were to gain control of our independent nuclear deterrent by similar means."

Members of UKIP have previously made comments interpreted as homophobic, but the party denied that it condones attacks on gay people.

"The UK Independence Party condemns all acts of violence whether perpetrated by immigrants or Islamic terrorists," the spokesbeing said.

"We believe that gay people should be prevented from marrying and kept away from children, with chemical castration reserved for the most annoying cases, but that is as far as any civilised 1950s British person should go."


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