Not Quite Managerial Material

It seems that even the humblest employees at the fine and law-abiding firm of G4S are not immune to the management's work ethic. G4S, it will be remembered, is the firm which provided such brilliant security at the London Olympics that the army had to be called in to plug the gaps; and which then, having been duly rewarded with various lucrative contracts for tagging offenders, demonstrated its gratitude by charging the taxpayer for keeping track of people who were confined, deceased or otherwise reasonably slow-moving. Thanks to this glowing record, and hardly at all because Mad Tessie May's husband is a major shareholder, the company remains the Home Office's first choice whenever the former party of law and order decides to outsource more law and order; and some call-handling staff at Lincolnshire police have allegedly taken a rather enterprising approach to the 999 industry. Since G4S do not yet have control of the courts, the five employees are innocent until proven guilty; but they are under investigation by both G4S and its business rivals in the police for making bogus calls in order to massage their performance figures. It is suspected that they did so without even ensuring that they were on a performance-related bonus scheme; which has very naturally resulted in their suspension for fiscal ineptitude.