Not From Around Here

A parliamentary committee has proclaimed that the system is still too soft on destitute asylum seekers, or economic migrants as they are known to the moderates. The marauding swarms are being housed according to a voluntary dispersal scheme, which means that large bunches of migrants are being inflicted on urban areas such as Glasgow, Birmingham, Liverpool and Cardiff. Those charming people at Serco and G4S, with whom the Home Secretary has almost no marital association whatever, have done what they can to prevent any insidious blending with the local population, and have provided the residential equivalent of orange jumpsuits and yellow stars so that readers of the scumbag press can make known their legitimate concerns. This is far from being enough to satisfy the home affairs committee for the House of Expenses Claimants, which wants to see more asylum seekers housed in Conservative shires such as Mad Tessie May's own Maidenhead constitutency, as well as those of the Head Boy and several of his chums, lackeys and wog-bashers. Asylum seekers deported to such places would almost certainly be assured of the welcome everyone knows they deserve, at least for as long as it remains illegal to lynch foxes.