His Promise Fulfilled

Rah rah for my new fiscal gem!
So worthy of your next PM!
Rewarding the best,
And treating the rest
To a faceful of Bullingdon phlegm!

Oh cripes! Global headwinds are strong,
And everything smells a bit wrong!
So now let us see
How the Heathen Chinee
Can take all the blame for my pong!

Rah rah for the great budgeteer!
Of scroungers the scourge and the fear,
With targets galore
And near-perfect score
Of missing them all, every year!

Oh cripes! Does that moisture descend
From the roof that I promised to mend
Against times such as these?
You damp proles will please
Call it rain while I hold up my end!

Rah rah! Once more budget day comes!
I'll punish the plebs and the bums!
I'll tax fizzy tipples
While kicking the cripples
And chucking more cash at my chums!

Gideon Fatwick