The Curmudgeon


Sunday, March 20, 2016

Crusader Crustacean

Britain's leading liberal newspaper has run a delightful puff piece on Stephen Crabb, whose dear old mum fought her way back from the horrors of welfare dependency into the legitimate mainstream of the British race. With her humble, hard-working virtues, Crabb's dear old mum has every prospect of becoming to welfare scroungers what the Head Boy's Little Ivan™ was to the National Health Service; hence, says Britain's leading liberal newspaper, for Crabb "welfare reform is personal". Self-evidently, Crabb joined the Conservative Party out of an overwhelming filial concern for social justice, just as Theresa May joined because of a burning belief in the right to privacy, and Jeremy Hunt because of an obsessive concern with improving public health. Britain's leading liberal newspaper expects Crabb to "tackle George Osborne" over the social security cuts, apparently because Crabb has a better relationship with the Treasury than the brilliant Duncan Smith - with whom the man of principle is also considered a "fellow traveller". It is of course customary for governments to appoint as ministers those who disagree with the way things are going, and Crabb's firebrand record on the back benches shows a homeopathic subtlety which will no doubt come in useful when tackling the Chancellor: an invisible droplet of dissidence administered in several gallons of undiluted support. Inspiringly, Crabb has also been "tipped in some quarters as a possible future Tory leader", just like everyone else. Oh, it's all going to kick off at the DWP.


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