Audit Unclear

Atheistic intolerance reigns at the Advertising Standards Agency, which has banned a television advertisement by a religion for, of all things, providing false information. The Church of Scientology claims that its volunteers provided aid for twenty-four million people between 1998 and 2014, but the ASA opined that the claim included too large an admixture of science fiction. Like Her Majesty's Government when faced with requests for quaint, outdated fripperies like evidence, the hierophants of Hubbard do not consider themselves obliged to base calculations of their own largesse on anything so banal and proletarian as the real world. They toil not with worldly legalisms such as what specifically constitutes aid; neither do they spin their figures according to whether each single recipient has been counted once, twice, twenty-four times or more. In their defence, it remains as yet unclear whether the Church of Scientology emulates Her Majesty's Government so far as to include military aid in its figures for humanitarian relief.