Keep Our Cliffs White

So effective are Mad Tessie May's wog disposal methods that our exit from the EU would result in refugee apocalypse, according to Downing Street. A spokesbeing for Britain's Head Boy was extruded to squeal that we must remain in Europe because if we don't Britain's borders will move back to Britain, the Frogs will send us their wogs, and a bunch of migrants will swarm across the Channel overnight, colonise Kent and radicalise everybody and their granny before you can say Dunkirkistan. Rather than foaming about boat people (we do, after all, have a submarine or two), the Head Boy himself was careful to confine himself to sniggering at the mugs in France who have agreed to be the custodians of Britain's borders and ensure that the wogs stop at Calais. However, he did strongly imply that in the event of Britain voting to turn the EU into a competitor the Euro-wogs, in their envy of our low-tax, low-welfare, low-down economy, could very well turn nasty; and that the minions of Mad Tessie May would almost certainly have trouble coping, particularly those efficient G4S people who seem to have trouble coping with almost everything.