Giving Them the Business

Well, here's a thing and no mistake: the Department for Profiteering, Privateering and Pocket-lining has less concern for human rights than Amnesty International might wish. The ministry has taken a leaf out of the Gove manual for training infantine resources, and has appointed non-qualified personnel to deal with claims of human rights violations while simultaneously depriving them of the necessary resources to make proper investigations. The system, according to Amnesty, is a genuine paragon of British fair play and respect for the law: "inconsistent, unreliable, biased towards businesses and out of kilter with the standards it is supposed to uphold". It rejects most complaints out of hand, takes an average of six months or more to make an initial assessment, and the allegedly responsible ministerial body has no power to exact compensation or otherwise enforce the moral or behavioural improvement of wealth creators who, naturally through no fault of their own, may inadvertently have caused a regrettable degree of unintended if entirely legal offence to some uppity wog or other. Among those few companies which are crude or stupid enough to have gained a slap on the wrist under these rigorous conditions are those charming people at G4S, with whom the present deeply subtle Home Secretary has almost no marital connection whatsoever, and who were found to be "technically in breach" of human rights guidelines for supplying the Righteous State with child incentivisation material.