The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

A Fitting Tribute

Other than wog-bombing and cripple-kicking, there are few things more guaranteed to unite the British Conservative Party than a spot of Royalist toadying. Accordingly, now that Daveybloke has taken such effective action to prevent a split over Europe, the London Haystack has announced that the latest addition to the city's prole conveyancing system is to be named the Elizabeth line, in honour of the country's longest-serving monarch (in Oldspeak, longest-reigning monarch). Most lines on the London Underground have dull unimaginative names derived from their shape or geography, reflecting the grim, Stalinist utilitarianism behind the concept of public transport. However, there is a Victoria line, named after the previous longest-reigning monarch, who presided over a period of unprecedented scientific advance and social reform; so it seems only fair and fitting that we should have another line called after the monarch who has been presiding for the past thirty years over the gradual emergence of the North Korea of the Atlantic.

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