We Don't Need Your Sort Around Here

Mad Tessie May has decided that certain so-called working people are bad for our Britishness, and accordingly plans to start deporting taxpayers as of this coming April. Non-EU wogs who are paid less than £35,000 a year will be deemed part of the scrounging, swarming hordes and kicked out so that the Osbornomic recovery can proceed without undue interference from teachers, IT professionals and charity workers. Nurses have been temporarily excluded from the list of social supernumeraries, but may be reinstated at any time should the back-bench baboons become restless over their investments in the healthcare profiteering industry. So thoroughly sensible is this latest purge that even the moderates among Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition are having qualms: a former Deputy Conservative minister and New Labour's director of public prosecutions have both ventured the tentative opinion that proceeding without looking more closely might well be economically inadvisable.