Fair Play

Certain ungrateful and unintegrated elements of liberated woggery have been abusing the legal system, and Britain's Head Boy wants it stopped, and stopped now. Aided by law firms whose materialistic cynicism extends to offering "no win, no fee" conditions, various beneficiaries of the recent crusade in Iraq have made allegations of murder, torture and abuse against British - British! - armed forces personnel. The Government now intends to act against those who pursue fabricated claims; such claims being, in the Government's vocabulary, a tautology along the lines of fraudulent benefits claimant or failed asylum seeker. Law firms found to have concealed relevant information, said the thing that was not, or engaged in other conduct unworthy of the Reverend Blair and his heavenly hosts, will be sued for wasting taxpayers' money that might otherwise have been pumped into G4S or Trident; because after all, there is a war on, you know.