A Red Rag to John Bull

Those reliable people at G4S, with whom the Home Secretary has almost no family connections whatsoever, have been accused of housing asylum seekers in properties with distinctive red doors, thereby allowing the marauding swarms to be singled out for various object-lessons in British tolerance and hospitality. It is difficult to believe that G4S would be capable of the Olympian degree of efficiency required; nevertheless, a report in the Murdoch Times stated that several human locusts among the swarming hordes had received some unwanted re-decoration, doubtless at the hands of hard-working families with legitimate concerns. Mad Tessie May was busy plotting to slap a £1000 fine on anyone daring to employ any wogs who may escape being kicked into the sea; so it fell to her nasty little minion James Brokenshire to express the depth of the Home Office's grief. Brokenshire claimed to "expect the highest standards" from the likes of G4S; which demonstrates with embarrassing clarity how well the Home Office is doing at attracting the brightest and best. Anyway, Brokenshire has ordered some underlings to look into the matter, and if any evidence is found that cannot be buried in a wog disposal centre Brokenshire will no doubt look very sternly upon those reliable people at G4S before throwing them more public money and letting them continue exactly as before.