We Have Very Nearly Learned the Lessons From the Last Couple of Times This Happened

Despite the Government's efficiency savings to national flood defences, more flood warnings have been issued, although Westminster is unlikely to be submerged. Nevertheless, Britain's Head Boy has done the statesmanlike thing and called another meeting of the COBRA emergency committee, since northern proles being flooded out of their homes yet again does sort of count as the kind of situation which needs to be reviewed and updated. Staff from the Environment Agency are standing by, along with armed forces personnel to stand in for those whom the Government has sacked; and once the waters have receded it is thought that pumps and sandbags, which are cheaper than trees and prettier than wind turbines, may become a permanent adornment to the northern landscape. It is as yet unclear whether the token filly at Environment, who considers the Bullingon Club's subjects among the worst idlers in the world, has permitted her enjoyment of the annual corporate orgasm to be disturbed.

Update Apparently the token filly at Environment chaired the COBRA meeting, and issued a communiqué to the effect that at least a few proles were working appropriate hours to facilitate the war on the effects of the Bullingdon Club's cuts.