The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Trigger Happy

Worried that our policing may be insufficiently total, Britain's Head Boy has ordered a review into whether armed police are sufficiently protected from the perils of acquittal and promotion if they shoot terrorists and "other suspected criminals". Since a suspected criminal is, by definition, legally innocent, and since a number of legal innocents have posthumously turned out to be real innocents (if frequently of the wog variety), Britain's Head Boy has decided to throw the police a few scraps of raw meat to balance out Mad Tessie May's recent chainsaw attacks. At present, officers shooting suspects place themselves at risk of internal inquiries, and sometimes of being asked questions and of being fawned over as stout young chaps doing a marvellous job under difficult circumstances. It does seem frightfully harsh.

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