Revolting Barbarians

Even as our terrorist-terrorising Head Boy and his Blairite Auxiliary Reserve Force prepare to make Syria safe for Britishness, it seems that various enemies within may be plotting to undermine the miracle of unitedness that is the Kingdom of Westminster and the Little People. Ghastly Celts from Northern Ireland, as well as England's colonies on the mainland, could bias the result of the EU referendum even if a majority of real people voted to leave. If the referendum vote among the aliens is significantly different from that among the pure-bred Anglo-Saxons, it might even be used by the fiend Sturgeon as an excuse to hold a referendum. Enthusiasm for the EU is much higher in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland than it is among actual Britons, because devolution means they are no longer run by Whitehall departments and are thus much more susceptible to vicious propaganda from Brussels, Strasbourg and other non-subsidiaries of News Corporation.