How Do They Manage It?

Astonishingly enough, despite the Government's efficiency savings (cutting services and sacking people, in Standard English), there are suspicions that Britain's wog disposal system is being slowed down to make the country less welcoming: a method that is also helping to keep the marauding swarms away from our schools and hospitals. The delays in sorting the economic migrants from the terrorists mean that suspects are detained for longer periods: eight months on average; longer if there are complications, as in the forty per cent of cases which Home Office gets wrong. This will surely gladden the hearts of those nice people at Serco and G4S, thereby proving yet again that economic recovery is in the eye of the beholder. There are also rumours that the Ministry for Profitable Incarceration is at loggerheads with the mad old cat lady at the Home Office over who should be paying for the kick-'em-out tribunals; such rumours are clearly nonsense, as both sides in the alleged dispute have refused to say anything, instead pointing at a third party and grunting, "Ask them." Nevertheless, it appears to be a fact that Britain's wog disposal system has somehow managed to become less efficient. What can be the explanation?