Corruption is What Other Countries Do

The empty suit at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns has accepted a complete and absolute non-bribe from a Saudi sheikh, in the form of a watch worth £1950. Given their expected degree of charm and charisma, ministers are permitted to accept complete and absolute non-bribes to the value of up to £140, but are generally expected to supplement their meagre salaries and ludicrous expense accounts by the sale of public assets in return for post-parliamentary directorships. A lesser empty suit might have accepted the sheikh's gift because it did not wish to offend the Saudi ruling class, who are doing such a sterling job spreading democracy with British weapons and whose pious decapitations are so very different from those of Islamic State; but the empty suit at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns is cut from subtler cloth. It was able to accept the sheikh's gift for the very simple reason that the empty suit was a completely different empty suit at the time.