Fracking Democracy

In light of the recent defeat in the Lords, which has wantonly delayed the tax credit cuts that would have brought joyous Christmas incentivisation to millions of hard-working families, the Bullingdon Club is taking no chances with regard to other measures designed to comfort and protect the vulnerable, the disenfranchised, the poor and the persecuted. I refer of course to fracking companies, whose interests are being delicately nurtured through the cruel whims of Westminster by the Clegg-pledging Amber Rudd, token filly at the Department of Energy. Given the clear and present dangers inherent in debate, the plotted new measures to allow frackers to drill under protected areas will not be discussed in the Commons but will be rubber-stamped by a committee of eighteen MPs. In the interests of democracy, a majority of the members are Conservatives; and in the interests of disinterested judgement, none of the members are from the constituencies whose voters will be placed at risk of environmental vandalism, poisoned water supplies or occasional earthquakes. One member's local association received £5000 from a company which hopes to benefit from fracking; fortunately, the donation from a would-be fracking profiteer to a pro-fracking MP had absolutely nothing to do with anything at all, and was intended purely as a tribute to the said member's honesty, integrity and personal charm.