Charity Shouldn't Be Free

Contributors to food banks will no doubt be delighted to learn that the brilliant Iain Duncan Smith has plans to conscript their charity into the Department of Workfare and Privation. It is of course vital that food banks become accepted as a necessary, permanent and tax-free feature of the incentivisation landscape, thus freeing up more public money for the Government to spend on hospitals, schools and infrastructure, as the Bullingdon Club has been simply itching to do all these years. Accordingly, agents of the Idleness Police are to be posted at food banks in order to provide motivation, mark down proles who seem to be gaining weight without permission, and generally ensure that there is no escape for skivers attempting to dodge the shrapnel from the Duncan Smith benevolence bomb.