Won't Somebody Consolidate the Children?

As every expenses-claiming member of the British Neoliberal Party knows, there are three kinds of problem in the world: those that can be solved by wog-bombing, those that can be solved by badger-busting, and those that can be solved by throwing taxpayers' money at private companies. Children in care, it appears, have been assigned to the third category, doubtless with an option on the first should we bring back conscription (or, to use the retro-fashionable euphemism, National Service). Britain's Head Boy has decided that vulnerable children, like people in prison, are a jolly sight too expensive for the Osbornomic miracle to cope with, and therefore need whipping into shape with a bit of market buccaneering and entrepreneurial gumption. Britain's Head Boy considers it a moral imperative (viz. a financial expediency) for the Government to streamline its functions by ceasing to concern itself directly with the welfare of the country's citizens and concentrating on more important matters, such as how much money can be screwed out of the taxpayer for the benefit of those poor but honest folk at Serco and G4S.