Vergangenheitsbewältigung, Boy

Britain's Head Boy has toddled along to Jamaica, where some mean-spirited persons have called on him to apologise for the slave trade which brought them to their holiday destination. Daveybloke responded with a bit of a burble in which he called on the uppity wogs to draw a line under the whole distasteful episode. Slavery has no place in a civilised society since it has, after all, long since ceased to be profitable for anyone except the kind of dubious African entrepreneurs who are seeking to inflict more migrants upon us. As an advocate of purely indigenous forced labour, Daveybloke expressed his pride in having abolished the slave trade and his abhorrence of an institution which places all the responsibility for feeding, clothing and housing the unwaged on rich people instead of on the Trussell Trust. Daveybloke simpered that rich people and their little brown chums, having helped each other through so many delightful adventures, ought now to move on from the painful legacy of misplaced benevolence on one side and shirking on the other, and proceed about the more important business of making money in a low-tax economy. According to a spokesbeing, Britain's Head Boy has informed the Jamaican prime minister that the "long-standing position of the United Kingdom is that we do not believe reparations is the right approach", a position coincidentally shared with many long-standing offenders.