The Nightmare Continues

Fury at migrant horror

Rail passengers between Britain and France have suffered yet further agonies due to the wrong kind of migrants on the line.

The crisis has prompted fears of a humanitarian catastrophe, with trains being halted and re-routed because of migrants attempting to get through the Channel Tunnel.

In extreme cases, passengers and rail companies have been forced to make alternate arrangements for travel and accommodation.

Rail companies said that every possible emergency measure would be taken, but that the main problem was "the wrong kind of migrant."

"If they were a bit thinner, or more of them were children, we could just plough on through and keep going," the spokesbeing said.

"Unfortunately, most of these swarms are strapping young men who have been fed on a regular basis, and red tape prevents the company risking damage to its rolling stock."

Passengers complained that the sight of migrants clinging to the roofs of trains caused them to fear for their salaries.

As an afterthought, Britain's leading liberal newspaper noted that some people had died.