Payback Time

Lord Ashcroft biffed off to Belize
And there had a jolly fine wheeze:
Commission some polls,
Attain Tory goals -
And after, what might he not seize!

But what is a poor chap to do
When the help will not give him his due?
Eight million quid
Seems a fair enough bid
For an office of state, maybe two.

We cannot but say it again:
Lord Ashcroft''s the nicest of men;
Though sometimes, mayhap,
He'll claim that a chap
Will fuck a dead pig now and then.

Humper Hogshead