Normal Is As Normal Does

Even in the present cynical age, certain times of year have a special aura; a delicate, poetic atmosphere tinged with the remembrance of past joys and redolent with anticipation of a bright future to come. High on the list of such happy times is, of course, the run-up to yet another new bout of Conservative cripple-kicking; which makes it all the more tragic that various charities and other left-wing troublemakers have chosen to taint the occasion by seizing upon the verbal maunderings of the mentally incompetent. The brilliant Iain Duncan Smith has been assuring hard-working families that Britain's gimps, mongs, retards and spazzes can expect "exactly the same support into work" that normal people get; which is simply to say that every scrounger and shirker in the land will soon be pestered, patronised, bullied and robbed to exactly the same degree no matter what adjustments might normally be made by a socially and ethically reasonable human being. Naturally, the troublemakers have taken the brilliant Duncan Smith's words out of context and are using them in a calculated attempt to blacken the name of our most witty and compassionate parliamentarian since Geoff Hoon. We can only hope that his famously delicate sensibilities are able to withstand the strain.