It's A Texas Hole, So Keep On Diggin'

Horror at clock terror bomb fury

Enforcement professionals in the Christian state of Texas have released new evidence to justify their arrest and interrogation of a 14-year-old man for bringing a suspicious device to a school.

An incriminating photograph of the "home-made clock" showed that it had wires like many bombs. However, realising that harder evidence would be needed, officials also produced conclusive proof that the suspect had a Muslim name.

"He calls himself Ahmed Mohamed and that's the clincher," said Texas enforcificator Claiborne T Minuteman.

"Anyone going under an alias like that ought to be real careful about showing stuff with wires and stuff during 9/11 week."

The suspect was saved from being shot to death and posthumously defamed only by his relatively modest melanin content, securitisation personnel said.

Muslims have a long and troubled history of engagement with "science". During the Middle Ages, Muslim philosophers and doctors were among the best in the known world.

Many historians believe that this prevented the Middle East at that time from greatly resembling either mediaeval Europe or modern Texas.