Bleaching the Pachyderm

Soulless bureaucrats with no appreciation of the finer aesthetic instincts of the Bullingdon school of public works are to launch an investigation into a minor, if representative, instance of the Osbornomic miracle. Since poverty and homelessness are now things of the past, the chancellor has thrown thirty million of taxpayers' money at a project to build a garden bridge over the Thames; and has induced the London Haystack, who never saw a white elephant the proles couldn't pay for, to match the funding. The architectural contract was awarded to Thomas Heatherwick on the grounds of large cost and little experience, which are of course the identical criteria used in selecting ministers from Chris Graybeing to Michael Gove to Jeremy C Hunt and beneath; but it seems that Parliament's public accounts committee has decided to take a stodgy, Stalinist view of the matter - and this even though, in the best Osbornomic tradition, yet more money will be required before the real cocking-up can begin.