Oppressive Church

Is there no end to the persecution of ordinary decent corporations? Shell, which has recently been granted permission to finish off what remains of the Arctic, was today subjected to a malicious campaign of unprovoked melodic dinsincentive. The culprits were Greenpeace protesters abetted by Charlotte Church and a string quartet, and the bullying drew expectable squeals of outrage from the victim. A spokesbeing was extruded to express Shell's respect for the right to democratic protest and disappointment at certain malcontents' inability to engage in constructive dialogue and say yes to whatever drilling, spilling and profiteering Shell might feel itself able, in good conscience, to carry out. The spokesbeing delivered a lecture upon the continuing necessity for fossil fuels, which are a path to prosperity for Shell's little brown brothers in the developing world and also, coincidentally enough, for clean-living companies like Shell.