Learning from the Best

An inquiry by the Australian Senate has found that the country's Nauru concentration camp is finally beginning to approach the standard set by those reliable people at Serco and G4S here on the mainland, with incentives such as child abuse, sexual assault and recreational violence providing due safeguards against unintentional pull factors. Portions of the swarm have even been driven to start marauding against themselves, allegedly at the instigation of workers from Save the Children whom the Australian Green Party wants reinstated so they can continue their reign of terror.

The Senate committee insists, ludicrously enough, that the concentration camp is the responsibility of the Australian government just because the Australian government is throwing taxpayers' money at Transfield, the flesh-traffickers who claim to be running it. In fact, of course, the concentration camp is the responsibility of the government of Nauru, much as the abuses in Guantánamo Bay were the fault of Fidel Castro. An attempt to dump the excess in Cambodia seems to have failed, despite bribes of six million pounds per cockroach.