Humble Beginnings

America, as we know, is a land of opportunity, where anyone can become President even if they happen to be a squillionaire named Clinton or Bush. Accordingly, Barbara Bush's secondary spawn Jeb is trying for the nomination for the batshit wing of the Republicrat Corporate Party, and has duly impressed an audience in Iowa with his determination to learn the lessons of the past. For one thing, Jeb has learned that when occupying a country and reducing it to chaos, it isn't always a good idea to push a lot of natives with military expertise and a grudge against you into the general population. For another thing, a report released last year concluded that torture was ineffective and that the CIA had lied about using it; from this Jeb has learned that the CIA was telling the truth all along and that torture keeps America safe. Jeb has mastered these subtleties despite not even knowing what torture is: asked to distinguish between torture and "enhanced interrogation" (viz. between what They do and what We do), Jeb shrugged the matter off but promised that if he were President somebody would be taking things seriously.