Helping the Homeless

Affordable housing for the right sort of people continues to be a priority, as witness the Nine Elms development on the south bank of the Thames. This particular folly has been given the rah-rah by the London Haystack himself as "the most important regeneration story in London", and the lucky chaps to whom this particular housing is affordable will have the use of a "concept pool". Although it sounds like managerialese for a database of utilisable clichés, the "concept pool" is in fact a chunk of chlorinated water placed in a novelty location. In the case of Nine Elms, the location is between blocks ten floors above street level, with a transparent bottom so that swimmers can look down upon the dusty proles below. The humble accommodations at Nine Elms have been advertised across Asia, in order that the space not be wasted on the kind of idlers and scroungers who would dirty it with their occupation all year round.