A Faith That Can Move Mountains of Marauders

It appears that, thanks to the Home Office, our great country is in no immediate danger of being swamped by marauding Eritreans. The Eritrean government, who are very nice people, have assured the minions of the mad old cat lady that all anyone needs to do is sign a letter of apology for leaving the country without permission, and pay their income taxes. This latter may seem a bit ruthless in our own more civilised political culture, where tax-dodging is the defining attribute of the wealth-creative hard-working family; but a report commissioned last year by the Danish government suggested that conditions in Eritrea were improving sufficiently to be fit for the natives, if not for the average Conservative Party donor. The fact that the Danish government has distanced itself from the report, and the mere reality that the UN has reported migrants being arrested on return, imprisoned for up to three years and "systematically ill-treated to the point of torture" are naturally matters of no consequence, since Government policy dictates that things must be otherwise.